Thursday, January 10, 2013

I suck

I am terrible at making plans.  I am always the one that has to cancel or ask folks to move things, and then something else comes up and I have to ask them to change things again.  I know this about myself, so what I finally learned to do was tell everyone to make the plans, and then I will find a way to be there.  It's so much easier than giving you little pockets of time that I may be able to make something work.  And even if I do that, by the time you finally pick a time, something else has already come up.  So we are back to square one and I feel like shit.

So with that in mind, the one thing that will make me want to gouge your eyes out with a fork covered in hot sauce is asking me "What time works for you"?  I realize that people are just trying to be nice and accommodating, but you have no idea how much that pisses me off.  And I know that it's TOTALLY a problem in my brain, but I still want to kill you for asking.

If it's our first time making plans together, I usually try really, really hard to not give in to the urge to blind you with a dirty fork, but I'll be honest, I make no promises.

If you and I have made plans together before, and you know my preferred style is to just be given a day and time, and you still ask when I am free, this is your fair warning that I WILL KILL YOU.  I will kill everyone and everything that you care about first, and make you watch, then I will kill you.  It will all be done with that Tapatio covered fork.

Before you tell me that I am being unreasonable, I know that.  Save your breath for the screaming you will be doing when I pluck your eyeballs out like cocktail onions. 

3 comments:

Big Mama said...

MMMMMmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm...cocktail onions!

FanStacia said...

You should use a spork. It sounds more dramatic.

LambChop said...

I like where your head's at FanStacia.